And so I write. I've lost another friend today. That makes three this week. I know now why my mom got so depressed her last few winters. She lost many, many friends. I guess I'm beginning that cycle and I really don't like it one bit.
What did I do to cheer myself up? I completed my state sales tax report for my business sales in 2010. Hey, hows that for a cheery activity during an eight inch snowstorm? GRRR! Leave it to the state to complicate what should be a very straightforward exercise. But it's DONE! On Time!
But that process made me do a mental evaluation of my business, my writing and why I still do it, after fifteen years of banging my head on the wall, so to speak. Yes, I have several novels published. But my non-fiction work is easier to sell, and brings in more in the short term. So why write the long stuff? Evidently, that retorical question slipped out loud. Hubby glanced up, gave me his teacher-look over his glasses and said "Because you enjoy it."
I sighed, nodded and went back to my taxes. He knows me well and he's right. I do enjoy creating worlds and sharing the stories and characters that run uninhibited through my brain. He knows they wake me up at night, banging on the inside of my skull. They inisist I write them down, so I don't forget them and their story when I wake. That would still happen, even if I stopped writing tomorrow.
I guess I won't. I do like sleeping. So I'll keep writing. Emile, the hero in the third book of my Regency trilogy, has a very heavy cane and a very interesting story. He'd never let me rest.